Table of Contents
I got played, but there is no game without the players
So I sometimes get played. One way or the other. They win, get one over me. Their prize is a moment of victory or of strength, one over me, making me look weak, or maybe even feel bad. The price of their victory is to lose my trust, openness and my energy. I got played.
I was recently directly reminded of how there are people who consider life to be a game. Social game in which people and their emotions, reactions, and behaviour serve as pawns, moving somewhere along the spectrum between winning and losing.
I was being triggered, intentionally, as they admitted, by a person I had met a few times.
They wanted to play my mind a bit, take a social risk. Why? They were bored and made a rather personal remark, claiming to have found a crack in my self-confidence in front of others.
They succeeded, congratulations. I got played.
Lost my calm a bit, was rude in my reply and even apologised for my behaviour.
Double win, as they seemed to think it.
Tutkimusmatka Beyond Futures - ajattelutapaan / Online startti torstaina 4.6
€119,00
Tulevaisuuden tutkimusmatka · Guided Futures Exploration Tämä on se hetki, kun alat katsomaan tulevaisuuksiasi eri silmin. Kaksi tuntia. Ohjattu, ammatillinen ryhmäkokemus verkossa. Tulevaisuusajattelua, joka kiinnittyy sinun elämääsi, ei teoriaan. "Minulla ei ole mitään pelättävää tulevaisuuteni suhteen, koska ymmärrän,… read more
The games are merely the surface level of social life.
I decided, or rather was forced to move beyond the social and emotional game level of life, some ages ago.
Still, this sometimes happens. I, being my weird, seemingly too open self, notice I get played every once in a while.
I often identify players soon, but sometimes my radar fails, or I choose to give someone the benefit of the doubt for some reason. Most often, because I know not everyone is in the game to play others, but are actually looking for their own way out of the surface-level interaction. Some might not even realise being part of a social game, but have just been conditioned to mask themselves to be acceptable.
The sadness of the societal and emotional games is most evident in those gentle souls seeking love and connection within the circles, where life is considered a game. Many of them harden themselves, some pull away in solitude, after experiencing the hurt caused by others.
So I got played. I sometimes get played. One way or the other. They win, get one over me. Their prize is a moment of victory or of strength, one over me, making me look weak, or maybe even feel bad.
The price of their victory is to lose my trust, openness and my energy.
Social media is full of advice on how to play
If I were playing, I might consider myself the winner at this point for unmasking someone out of my life. Because I don’t, I feel a moment of sadness. I know there could have been much more in this person than this, because I often see and feel the person behind the player mask.
Because a mask it is - always.This reminder is not unique. Social media is full of advice on how to seduce, dominate, manipulate, attract, and detach. How to be a high-value person, behave in the corporate world, dress to impress, to name a few.
We have learned to hide our true selves to secure a prime position and the best prizes in this social game, spreading and lingering in all areas of life. The game is tangling itself into the competition, capitalism, and other systems in place to fool us into feeling powerful while exerting all-encompassing control over our lives and decisions.
Considering life a game is well accepted nowadays, the metaphor is used all over. The most of modern getting to know people and dating has been gamified. You might recognise the top societal and emotional gamers, the aspiring winners, from their numbness and detachment. For most, the game has forced them to hide and suppress their emotions; some might manage with pristine emotional regulation.
The conversation where I got played, ended with an eye-opening wish for me to "accept myself as I truly am and see life as the beautiful game it is".
While I agree with the beauty of life, I strongly oppose considering it a game. If it´s a game, there is no one game; there are millions of ongoing games without rules. Games played for wins imply there are always many more losers than winners.
As human beings, we are no pawns and definitely not to be categorised as winners or losers.
“Talk of a loser”, will a player say now.
In which they are, of course, correct, from the game perspective. I belong to those who never really learned the game(s) and were pushed out, ostracised.
For which I´m grateful.
My question is: are the players truly confident, or are they seeking social wins to boost their egos at the expense of others?
You will have to step out of the games to see the life beyond them
I stepped out of the games years ago, so I refuse to play by any of their rules.
This doesn´t mean I wouldn’t sometimes realise that is exactly what I am doing, so deep is the conditioning. I stepped out as soon as I realised they need not to be played in any form. It took a while, but when I saw the game systems, I couldn't unsee them anymore.
I still do not recognise all, or even most, of them, but a conscious decision to step out, pull back and take a broader view has given me the greatest gift I could have imagined: I recognise the authenticity of people who live their lives beyond the plays.
I am able and open to interact directly and honestly with people living outside or seeking their way out of the social games. It is my reward, because you people, living authentically as yourselves, are amazing.
Being ostracised gave me the only true win this game can ever offer. By not playing, by being just myself, I come across the very people who are living their lives outside the gaming boards, people who consider others human beings with emotions, who have the confidence to be themselves, feel and express their emotions.
This is something I believe I would never have been able to truly appreciate had I not stepped out. After all, your external reality is a mirror of your inner world.
Thinking societal games from the perspective of Beyond Futures mindset, the regognition and choosing ones standing in relation to them develops most of the skills. Especially the following:
- Skill 4: Commitment to self-growth
- Skill 5: Systemic understanding and pattern recognition
- Skill 6: Transformative Thinking
- Skill 7: Communication and collaboration for shared outcomes
- Skill 8: Curious self-confidence
- Skill 9: Active acceptance
- Skill 10: Internal security
- Skill 11: Self-sovereignty
- Skill 12: Personal agency and accountability
Foundations of Beyond Futures Mindset: Skillsets to Transform your Futures (Launch May 1st)
€0,00
Wouldn´t you just love to be able to rely on your mindset to say: "I have nothing to fear when it comes to my future, because I understand how the futures unfold. I embrace my agency in directing my future, promise… read more
Instead of the player, choose to be the artist of your life
They say, “Hate the game, not the players”, but there is no game without the players.
I don´t hate the players either. It stings to be played, yes, most definitely. More importantly, it also serves as a reminder of a life I no longer wish to lead.
The amazing thing is, most of the games vanish from your sight as you choose to really see them. Make a conscious choice to see everything beyond them.
To conclude this monologue, I suggest an alternative approach to life for those seeking a way out of the social gaming mindset. Instead of a game, consider life a beautiful journey, or your very own piece of precious art.
Whatever you consider it for yourself - remember that the other people are not there for you, but for themselves. Be responsible for your emotions and considerate of others'.
Everything there is to find for you, all you desire, will first be found from within.
Fall in love with yourself and your life, in all their flaws and imperfections. When you are as authentic as the people you find, the beauty you can experience and create together is beyond any wins you may have experienced at the cost of others.
Instead of a game, consider life a beautiful journey, and your very own piece of precious art.
Tulevaisuusmatka: Kohti Beyond Futures asennetta ja ajattelutapaa (Julkaisu 1.6)
€790,00
Henkilökohtainen tulevaisuusmatka · Beyond Futures Mindset "Entä jos ajattelutapa onkin taitojen kokonaisuus ja jos ajattelutapasi muovaa tulevaisuuksiasi, eikö silloin taitojen kehittäminen olekin tapa ohjata elämääsi?" Tämä on kokonaisvaltaisin matka Beyond Futures -ajattelutapaan. Itsellesi sopivaan tahtiin etenevä digitaalinen kurssi.… read more
